Why do I feel lost in life? How to live with purpose every day
Learn how to live with purpose every day to feel more fulfilled and motivated.
Ever find yourself wondering, “Why do I feel lost in life?” You’re not alone — and you’re not broken. This gentle, practical guide explores how to live with purpose every day, even when life feels heavy. You’ll learn why feeling lost happens, how it affects your mental health, and simple CBT tools and reflections to reconnect with what really matters to you. By the end, you’ll have everyday strategies to build a sense of meaning — one small step at a time.
Understanding that lost feeling
If you’ve been waking up thinking, “What’s the point?” — you’re not the only one. Maybe you’re juggling work, studies, or caring for others but still feel empty inside. Or perhaps you’re battling anxiety, low mood, OCD, or stress, and life feels like an exhausting cycle of coping instead of truly living.
It’s human to feel lost sometimes — especially in our modern world. We’re expected to have it all figured out, but few people really do. Feeling lost in life doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’re ready for something deeper. And there is a way forward — you don’t have to find it alone.
What we think, feel, and do can all impact each other — creating a cycle
Why do I feel lost in life?
Psychologically, purpose acts like an inner compass. When you’re connected to what matters, you’re more resilient and motivated — even when life gets hard. But when you lose that connection, you can drift.
But it is normal to feel lost from time to time. In fact, many psychologists see periods of feeling lost as a natural part of growth and transition. Dr. Meg Jay, clinical psychologist and author of ‘The Defining Decade’, writes that “feeling lost is normal in your twenties — and sometimes beyond — because it means you’re exploring.”
4 common reasons you might feel lost:
Information overload:
We live in an age of constant noise — endless scrolling, endless comparison. Many experts now suggest that modern distractions can drown out our true values, making us feel adrift source.Negative thinking loops:
In CBT, we look at the Cognitive Triangle: thoughts, feelings, and behaviours feed each other. If you’re stuck in a thought like “I’m lost and I’ll never figure it out,” you might feel hopeless and withdraw from activities that could give you meaning. That withdrawal makes you feel even more lost — a self-perpetuating cycle.Unrealistic beliefs about purpose:
Many people believe purpose must be a huge, world-changing mission. But research shows our sense of meaning naturally evolves. For instance, in the U.S., about 75% of college students change their major at least once — reminding us that what feels purposeful now may shift over time and this is often a positive realignment of our purpose and values. (Psychology Today)You don’t know what your values are
Sometimes we feel lost simply because we’re not clear on what we truly value — or we’re living in a way that doesn’t line up with those values. In CBT and psychotherapy, exploring your values is a core part of reconnecting with a sense of meaning and direction.
Further reading: If you’d like to dig deeper, check out my guide ‘What Are Your Personal Values?’ for a simple path to discovering what matters most to you.
Living with purpose = committing (even tiny moments) to what matters most to you
How to live with purpose every day — practical steps (even for bad days)
The good news is living with purpose doesn’t mean you need your whole life plan mapped out tomorrow — contrary to a common belief that is a constant cause of stress in modern culture. Living with purpose every day is an ongoing practice of tiny steps that align with what matters to you, even when life feels heavy. Here’s how you can start.
Step 1: Get clear on what matters to you
Purpose starts with values. It’s like shining a light on what you stand for.
Grab a notepad and try this values reflection practice:
Check out my free guide with more than 75+ values listed, which you can choose from (no email address required).
Circle a few options from each section.
Write down 10 things you value most in life (like kindness, learning, connection, adventure).
Now focus in on your top three.
Step 2: Use the “Tiny Purpose” mindset
We often get stuck waiting for big breakthroughs. But real meaningful change happens in the mundanity of life in between these moments. Instead waiting for or trying to force another big breakthrough, ask yourself: “What tiny thing can I do today that feels meaningful?”
As, Anne‑Laure Le Cunff (author of ‘Tiny Experiments’) wrote; “Instead of vowing to write a story every week for a year…, you might commit to working on a story for 30 minutes every day for 10 days. Then, see what works… It’s not failure, it’s learning.”
For each of your top three values, jot down one small action you could take this week to honour it.
For example:
If you value creativity but you feel like you have no time, could you spend 10-20 minutes sketching or playing an instrument?
If you value connection, but you suck at staying in touch, could you set a daily reminder call a friend or loved one?
If you value nature but you feel tied to your desk, could you take a quick walk around the park or just enjoy sitting in your garden for 10-20 minutes.
Real talk: “I don’t have the time” can often come up as an obstacle to this practice. But if you asked yourself honestly how long you spent each day on Instagram or TikTok, or watching TV, what would the answer be? No matter how busy you are in a day, you’ve always got 10-30 minutes to spare.
Step 3: Challenge the thought “I’m lost forever”
Your mind might tell you, “I’m lost and always will be.” But thoughts aren’t facts. Socratic questioning is a classic therapeutic tool you can use on yourself to test them objectively and robustly.
Try these Socratic prompts whenever thought’s like “I’m lost forever” arise:
What evidence supports this thought?
What evidence goes against it?
Is there a more balanced way of seeing this?
What would I say to a friend who felt this way?
Step 4: Gently lean back into life
When you feel lost, you might withdraw from things that could actually help. For instance, you might skip seeing friends, stop doing activities you used to enjoy, or stay stuck in your thoughts instead of taking action. This behaviour may be designed to keep. you safe, but it reinforces the idea that withdrawing and avoidance works (it doesn’t), and it actually makes your world smaller and smaller.
This is where behavioural activation — a classic therapeutic strategy you can try on yourself — comes in. Think of it as a gentle push towards the things that matter, rather than waiting for motivation to magically appear.
For example, imagine you feel lethargic and uninspired but used to enjoy karate. Instead of expecting yourself to win a martial arts contest, you could start by signing up for a trial class or simply spend 10 minutes practicing your kata at home. This tiny action might boost your mood just enough to try it again — and over time, small actions build momentum.
Ideas to get you into action:
Schedule one small, enjoyable, or meaningful activity each day.
Break it down: if ‘visit a friend’ feels big, start with a text.
Keep an “activity tracker” — noticing small wins builds momentum.
Step 5: Keep a “Purpose Journal”
Reflection is powerful — and journaling is one of the simplest ways to train your mind to notice moments of purpose, even when they’re tiny.
Research shows that regular journaling helps you make sense of your thoughts and feelings, spot patterns, and reconnect with what really matters to you. It can also lower stress, boost mood, and increase your sense of meaning in life — especially when you focus on gratitude and purpose.
Here’s how you can make it simple and consistent:
If the idea of a blank page feels overwhelming, keep it short. One or two sentences are enough.
Some people find it helpful to jot a quick note on their phone or voice note on a walk.
If you enjoy art or colour, turn your “purpose journal” into a doodle diary — sketch tiny moments that felt good, like a smile from a stranger on the bus (okay I hear you, “enough with the fluffy stuff, Alex!”)
You can also try these purpose prompts each evening:
What gave me a flicker of meaning today?
When did I feel most alive?
What might I like to feel more of tomorrow?
Over time, this daily practice can remind you that purpose doesn’t have to be huge — it grows through small moments you choose to notice.
Step 6: Embrace the imperfect days
Living with purpose doesn’t mean you’ll feel motivated, inspired, or crystal clear every day. Some days will feel foggy or messy, sometimes life throws us a curveball, and some moments are simply dull as dishwater — and that’s not failure. It’s just part of being human!
The Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius wrote: “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.” So, even if the day didn’t go as planned, you can still choose a tiny step back toward what matters.
Remember, purpose isn’t perfection. It’s about returning, over and over, to the small choices that align you with what matters — especially when things feel hard.
Need a hand to lift your low mood?
If you’d like gentle, step-by-step support, my 6-Week CBT Self-Help Programme for Low Mood & Unhappiness is designed to help you reconnect with meaning, motivation, and your own values.
You can also join The Mindful Minute, my free weekly newsletter, for practical tools and reflections to help you live with more purpose — even on the hard days. Sign up here.
About the Author
Hi I’m Alex Rogers, a student of counselling and psychotherapy with specialist training in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and the founder of The Mind Hive.
Drawing on my background in mental health, content creation, and lived experience, my aim is to create accessible support that helps people manage anxiety, stress, low mood, OCD, and more—using evidence-based CBT tools and techniques.
Through The Mind Hive, I’m on a mission to make structured self-help more engaging, empowering, and effective—without needing to wait for 1:1 support.
Want to get started? Check out my 6-week self-guided CBT programmes.
